Introduction

I was raised in a cult. I left when I went to college, but didn't really process any of that. I became Catholic and have been slowly losing my patience with the Church over the sex abuse crisis. When my successful weight loss triggered painful traumatic events from my past, I realized that the dysfunctional religion I was raised in had hurt me as much as my dysfunctional family. Now I'm smashing idols to see if any treasure remains among the rubble. It's a messy process.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Total Random Stuff

I wonder if other ex-believers, especially women, feel that their maturity has been somewhat stunted while they were still in their belief systems? I have a pretty clear history of taking a subordinate role at least in my career path. I'm often pretty sure that there's got to be a more adulty adult in the room, and I tend to defer to them. I don't really think that's my personality, but I dunno. Just something I'm wondering about tonight.

Yesterday I had dental work done in the morning, and a thing at my school for their program grant review by Rutgers. So, I just got home and crashed. Today I spent the day figuring out that no, I do NOT want to work at that inpatient behavioral health unit. I know an n=2 is no more useful than an n=1, but maybe psych nursing just isn't my bag. I want to help, but maybe that's just Survivor's Mission. 
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3 comments:

  1. Jasmine @ Heart in FormationOctober 7, 2015 at 10:47 AM

    Hey Nascient Nullifidian (how shall I call you?)
    A. I know the feeling--wow, it was all for nothing--all wasted time. But here's what Im hoping/trying to believe--There is no process or product in nature/biology/physics the universe that is wasted... even the poor dead creature on the forest floor is becoming food for fungus, insects, other creatures, etc. Maybe even the waste of these creatures feeds the forest floor so that more can grow to feed other creatures...
    So Im believing that we also are all connected and nothing will be wasted. (e.g. this pain helps me have more compassion for that person going through that pain, or, this blessing enables me to bless that person in need of that blessing..)
    ps-I don't get your N=1 stuff, but I do think I see you wondering what to do and I wonder, what's on your heart? what are you passionate about?
    Maybe that's the thing to go/strive for.
    Love always from Holland,
    Jasmine

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  2. tgOctober 7, 2015 at 11:53 PM

    Hi! N=1 is a term from statistics. It means your test subject pool consists of one individual. An N=1 is pretty much useless.

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  3. tgOctober 7, 2015 at 11:53 PM

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