Introduction

I was raised in a cult. I left when I went to college, but didn't really process any of that. I became Catholic and have been slowly losing my patience with the Church over the sex abuse crisis. When my successful weight loss triggered painful traumatic events from my past, I realized that the dysfunctional religion I was raised in had hurt me as much as my dysfunctional family. Now I'm smashing idols to see if any treasure remains among the rubble. It's a messy process.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Total Waste of Bandwidth

Back in 1994 I found and began participating in a vibrant online community via IRC. I remember one of the mods of our channel at one point pontificating that "personal blogs are a total waste of bandwidth." I promptly (in 1996) began a blog and titled it "Giselle's Total Waste of Bandwidth." It's long gone now, and even the revamped blogger version was quietly retired around 2010.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I'm thinking about why I'm here, writing this, exposing myself this way. Do I want to change the world? Maybe. Do I want to help other people? Sure. Mostly I think I want to join a bigger conversation. There are wildly courageous women out there, women who practice radical honesty. Women who aren't afraid to be who they are, no matter whether someone likes them or not. Well, they are afraid, but they do it anyway.

Amanda Palmer

P!nk

Tori Amos

Sarah Morehead

Felicia Day

Marlene Winell

Whitney Way Thore

I want to be like them when I grow up. I want to grow up. That's why I'm telling my story. That's why I'm putting this out there. That's why I don't care if it's a total waste of bandwidth. Because I have a story. I have a truth. I matter.
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